Personal Hygiene / Torture Implements?!?

First impressions of Craigslist ads are sometimes the most entertaining part of browsing the Great List of Craig.  The amount of time between a state of confusion and a state of understanding is short for this one, but it was still the best thing I've seen so far today. I'm kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel today for something to post; scraping with toothbrushes and screw-like probes.
Like the manual in this image says: "Extract the Max," everybody.